Hey there, I'm Trisha and I work with heart centred women who have created success in their lives, yet they don't feel like they are a success (yet!) They have this niggling feeling that they want more but they have this one thing standing in their way ... themselves!
Working together we embark on a journey of self discovery building self awareness, dissolving self doubt, supporting lasting self belief and creating a life they love and deserve on their terms.
Living with Imposter Syndrome can feel like you are constantly wearing a mask, acting to the world that everything is fine, yet inside you can feel like you are crumbling. It can be exhausting living with this niggling underlying feeling that despite all your success, it wasn't real and at any point it they would realise that you weren't as good as they thought you were.
How do I know this?
Because for the majority of my corporate career, I lived with feeling like a fraud and waiting to be found out. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I heard that this state of thinking had a name: "Imposter Syndrome". I can't tell you the relief I felt to discover this, to finally find out why I had felt the way I had for so long. But then it became my mission to dissolve this in my life and to break the taboo, helping others to dissolve it in their life but to also raise the profile of this and for this to be spoken about in the workplace like we talk about absenteeism and profit margins
So I want to share a little of how it affected me, so you can understand how bad it really was for me and how i ended up here today running a successful business despite Imposter Syndrome being in my life
Within my career I worked for some of the largest corporate companies in the UK and the world and I was career driven.
In fact I shied away from shining too brightly and didn't want to raise my profile and be seen.
But despite that, I was noticed and was approached to take on more responsibility by bosses. Every time I earned a promotion or got a new role, I had this underlying fear that they would realise they had made a mistake and that I wasn't the right person for the role. I would think to myself "what have they done" "I can't do this" "who do I think I am?!". I would spend time chatting to friends about my insecurities, yet that feeling never went away and one thing was for sure, I could never confide in anyone at work. I would be seen as being weak and perhaps they would fire me after all. Despite all the success in my career, I was waiting to be found out, thinking I wasn't any good at what I did, comparing myself to the girls with my perception of their posh accents and university degrees.
So I masked my insecurities by overcompensating, working really hard, never stopping, over committing, wanting to please everyone and prove myself.
I was a HR professional and I thought I needed to be the expert, to know everything otherwise they would find me out. I dreaded going to meetings and would hold myself back, afraid to speak up or afraid to get it wrong or sound silly. At one time when I got promoted and I would attend board meetings with the Managing Director and all the other Directors, my feelings of being an Imposter got stronger and for a while I used to take beta blockers that were not mine in order to be able to handle meetings.
Thankfully I always had bosses who believed in me, even though I had very little belief in myself and I would borrow their belief for a short while but it wore off and never lasted for long before the feelings of self doubt and insecurities would come creeping back. Each year when it was time for my annual appraisal I would dread that this would be the time that they would finally tell me that they had made a mistake, despite all year having no evidence to back this up.
My escape was living for the weekends to be spent partying in bars or clubs and holidays chasing adventure, constantly living for the future whilst the present was passing me by.
It got to a point I was so stressed out and exhausted that I had to find something to help me, so I started to swap the partying for yoga and meditation hoping that these things would set me free and yes they did for a short while but I was soon back in my spot where I was back in work with that underlying feeling of dread, feeling out of my depth. I wanted to feel fulfilled and content in a job, find a company that had the culture I was looking for but I was too scared to make a move, to make it happen.
I know what it feels like...
To work tirelessly everyday and yet there never seem like there is enough hours in the day.
To put on that mask yet inside you are feeling tired and like you are just not good enough.
To change company looking for a better company and then realise that those feelings follow you wherever you go
To be a success, yet feel like a failure, doubt yourself, feeling like a fake and crippled with low self esteem and confidence.
To have everyone believe in you but you don’t believe in yourself.
To feel stuck and unfulfilled in a job but you can’t see a way out.
Yet one day I woke up.
I remember vividly sitting at my desk in my office in Leeds in a company that the environment was feeding my Imposter Syndrome when I thought “Trisha if you want things to change then you must be the one to change”. I then googled careers advice and up popped a life coach.
So I booked some sessions and that’s where the journey began to where I am right now. In fact I loved the sessions that much that I decided this was going to be my chosen new career path. Now I would love to say that I just jumped in, got qualified and the rest is history but there was lots of me getting in my own way first, which was really my Imposter Syndrome sabotaging me and holding me back. Also I couldn’t just learn the new skills to help others, I had to work on myself first and boy there was always lots more distractions and busyness to contend with that always seem to take the focus.
The first step of the journey was recognising that if I wanted things to be different, then i needed to be different
But I started to work on the most important project of my life and that was working on changing my inner world, taking myself on a journey of self discovery, become more self aware and tackling those beliefs that were holding me back. That's not to say that Imposter Syndrome doesn't come back when I want to step up in my life but now I greet it like an old friend but the difference is now I know how to tackle it so it doesn't stop me creating a life I love and deserve.
Can you relate?
Is this you my lovely? Are you ready to stop feeling like you don't know what you are doing?
Are you committed to getting out of your own way to create and own your success?
Are you ready to embark on this exciting journey to become the best version of yourself, whilst loving the pants off yourself too?
Do you have this burning desire inside for things to be different, for you to be different?
Well if you are, then let’s see if I am the coach to help you make it become your reality...