Image courtesy of Ges Lorraine at Unsplash
How do you even know whether you have an inner imposter? Well imagine these scenarios. You have been chosen for a project and the night before it is due to start you go into panic mode thinking you are not prepared and worrying you won't be able to pull it off. Or you have an idea for something you want to achieve and you initially feel really excited and then all of a sudden up crops these thoughts that you are way out of your depth and who do you think you are to dream so big. Or you get invited to speak at an event and you feel excited until you look at the line up of other speakers and you go into meltdown that you are not as good as they are. These are 3 real life examples where I have witnessed Imposter Syndrome creep up on people over the last few weeks. So question is can you relate to any of these? Well then you have just met your inner Imposter.
The thing about Imposter Syndrome is it is just a illusion that we create in our minds so if we can create this illusion then we are also the ones that can smash it to smithereens. Our inner Imposter takes the driving seat and before we know it we are crazily driving down the road out of control with our irrational thoughts about ourselves. The best thing we can do is take back control of the wheel, get back in the driving seat and tell that inner Imposter to get in the back seat where it belongs. But how do you do that? Well here are 5 ways that you can take back the control and tame that imposter.
1. Share it
Your inner imposter loves secrecy and thrives on isolation so it wants you to suffer in silence. So the best thing you can do is tell someone how you feel. As soon as you share it you start to take away its power that it has over you. Also talking about it can help to break the illusion but one word of advice. Chose the right person to share it with.
2. Be a detective
Your inner imposter wants you to stop in your tracks and doubt everything about you and this is a one way road to feeling crap and stuck. So get your brain to think differently. First of all challenge it. Ask yourself when have I actually really screwed something up or fallen flat on my face and completely failed at something? You will probably struggle to find any real evidence of that. Yep remember it is just an illusion so show it that it doesn't really have much evidence to rely on. Second of all find examples of where you have succeeded in the past. In what areas do you feel confident. Where have you succeeded in the past? What has gone well for you? Focus on the good stuff to quieten it.
3. Future focus
This is focusing on what you want to happen. So take some time to sit and think about how you would like this scenario to pan out. How will you show up, how will you feel, what will you be saying to yourself and to others and what will people notice about you. Your brain can only think of one thing at a time so if you are focusing on what you want to happen, it can't also be doubting you at the same time.
4. Focus on what you bring
Yes you. What you bring to the party. What makes you special. Why are you the right person to do this thing? What have you done in the past that was successful and will help you succeed in this new opportunity? Write down a list of what makes you the right person to do this. Dig deep as that information is inside of you. Yes it is true that other people could do it but there is something that you will bring that no-one else can because they are not you.
5. Borrow some belief
Feeling like an imposter is 100% an internal process so go outwards and borrow other people's belief until you build your own. Save messages of encouragement from emails, texts, cards, etc. Save them in a folder either electronically or physically but somewhere where you can grab them and fill up your cup with positive re-enforcement about what makes you so bloody wonderful. I know you may not believe that but others do, so take it and honour their feedback. People don't throw compliments around for nothing so listen to what they have to say.
So the next time you feel that inner Imposter rearing it's ugly head, take some time to implement these 5 steps so you can completely change that inner illusion. But one word of advice. Don't let it hold you back. Letting your inner imposter take the lead is like going through life with the handbrake on. So decide who is in the driving seat and release the handbrake and drive forward towards your dreams.
“Letting your inner imposter take the lead is like going through life with the handbrake on”
To help you tame your inner imposter I have designed a pack of coaching cards that contain 44 different questions to help you build self belief, self compassion and self love. As it is my birthday over Easter I am offering a 20% discount until 1st April 2018 so if you want to grab your own pack and real start to tackle that inner imposter, click here to shop and the discount code is BIRTHDAY.