We live in a world now that social media is considered part of our daily routine and I get that there can be a positive side to it. We can feel connected to people, more so right now where we might not be able to see many people face to face and we can watch or read something that lifts our spirits and make us feel good.
But what if social media triggers your Inner Imposter?
You know the drill. You’re feeling pretty ok about things, you decide to click onto social media for a scroll and before you know it you’ve seen some posts that trigger you. You know the shift has happened as you can feel your mood change or indeed the negative inner chatter starts. Before you know it you’re comparing yourself to other people’s lives and achievements and it can have you feeling inadequate or lacking in some way.
Back when I started my corporate career, social media didn’t exist (showing my age here!) so my ability to compare myself to others was limited as I could only compare myself to people at work or my friends and family. Yet now we can have access to pretty much anybody on the planet and get to have a glimpse into their lives and see what they’re achieving.
Now let’s be honest here. Social media is designed to be addictive. In fact the likes and comments are giving you a dopamine hit and who doesn’t like happy hormones! After watching the documentary The Social Dilemma I understood why we can struggle to break up with our phones and why we can find ourselves endlessly scrolling even if it makes us feel like crap.
I know for me personally, I have a love hate relationship with social media. Every now and then I take a break from social media. Not only do I find I have more time (less mindless scrolling time) I feel much happier too. A study carried out found that 60% of people using social media reported it impacted their self esteem in a negative way.
What to do when you notice an Imposter spiral
So, if you want to stay connected and still use social media, yet want to be mindful of when it has you going down an Imposter spiral, here are some suggestions of what you could do:
When you notice your feelings shift or you notice the negative chatter, close down whatever app you’re in, put down your phone and go do something else instead
Move your body in some way - stretch, dance, walk. E - motion is energy in motion so shift those negative feelings by moving your body
Go look up at the sky, take some deep breaths and relax your nervous system
Give yourself a pep talk like you’re taking to one of your best friends. Reassure yourself and tell yourself the things you would tell a friend if they told you they were feeling this way
Create some healthy boundaries around social media
I’ve definitely reduced my use of social media and I’ve put some boundaries in place about phone usage. Here are some suggestions if you want to reduce your time on social media:
no social media at the start or the end of the day
pick a time where you stop using your phone for the day. Put the phone on airplane mode and preferably keep it away from where you sleep
no mindlessly scrolling when you’re bored or wanting a distraction
set a 15 min timer to scroll and engage with other people on their posts per day
think of it like you’re having a brew with some friends so only go on when you feel like chatting
unfollow or mute accounts that trigger you and don’t feel guilty as it’s not about them or their content but more about how it makes you feel
catch yourself if you fall into an Imposter spiral, get offline and do something else instead
consider a social media detox. Try a whole day offline or start with a few hours. You won’t have missed much, everyone will still be there when you decide to come back
Our brains love the familiar too so if you’re trying to break a habit it’s not so easy. Our brains don’t like change so it’s good to track your progress and when you find you’re falling back into old habits, give yourself a chat and then start again.
One of my biggest fears is that in years to come, I will wonder what I did with my time and wish I’d spent less time on my phone and more time enjoying real life.
In all honesty if I didn’t use if for business, I think I could easily delete all of my accounts but I know that I love social media as it helps me connect with a community, I get to be creative and I get to help people and that definitely makes me happy.
So with that in mind, for me it’s all about being mindful about how I use it and more importantly how it makes me feel and it if it doesn’t feel right, make some changes. I hope the same for you.