Image taken from Unsplash and courtesy of Christina @ wocintechchat.com
Have you ever wished you were more confident? Perhaps you’ve looked at other people and wished you could be more like them. You know the kind - the ones who just seem to ooze confidence in the way they act and speak. The ones who can share their opinions in a meeting without fluffing it up or who put themselves forward for opportunities.
It’s easy to fall into that trap and think that confidence is a personality type. I used to think the same. I thought that I was the way I was and that I couldn’t be like those confident types.
Low self confidence can have a serious impact on how we feel day to day at work and can have an effect on how we perform.
But here is the truth - self confidence is learnt behaviour and a muscle that gets stronger the more we do things that we don’t feel confident doing.
Action comes before confidence. Confidence comes from practice. So if confidence is a muscle, then here are 6 ways that you can start to build that muscle and be more confident in your career and business now.
1. Figure out the areas where you’re already confident.
Yes that’s right. You’re already confident. Ok you might be filled with dread thinking of having to do a presentation or speak in front of some people you feel intimidated by but there will definitely be areas that you’re already confident in.
Think abut the things that you do on a day to day basis where you feel in flow or where people come to you for help or advice. It might be that you’re great with writing words, problem solving, talking in small groups, organising, researching. Getting clear on the areas you’re confident in will help you to build confidence in yourself.
2. Get clear on the areas you don’t feel confident.
Ok so you might not be confident in all areas, so take some time to jot down where do you feel less confident. What are the things that if you think about doing them they send you into fear or panic? It’s good to know what these are as this now forms the basis of your action plan to get more confident as remember action breeds confidence.
3. Take action.
From the list above pick ONE thing that you’re going to get more confident doing. You see doing nothing actually feeds your low self confidence so you have to work on building the muscle in the areas where you don’t feel confident.
An example could be that right now you’re not confident at public speaking and to think of doing that straight away might feel like too big of a stretch and send you into panic. So a step in that direction could be to speak up more in meetings or share your views in an email or on a post on social media.
4. Recognise effort not outcome.
As you start to do things to build your self confidence you’re not going to get it right.
In fact you might get it horribly wrong. The key here is regardless of the outcome you do not talk badly to yourself.
No “oh my god you’re so stupid for saying that, what will they think”. You know the type of thing. Instead congratulate yourself for taking the action, for putting in the effort regardless of the outcome.
After each attempt, ask yourself what did I learn from this and what could I do differently next time. Be kind to yourself as you learn and grow.
5. Say yes to opportunities.
When an opportunity comes along you can easily fall into the trap of thinking “Oh I couldn’t do that” "why have they picked me" and when you hear that it’s highly likely that low confidence and your Inner Imposter are speaking here.
So instead ask yourself will this opportunity stretch me and help me to grow my confidence? If the answer is yes, then take that opportunity.
6. Watch your body language
So if I asked you to notice how you hold your body when you’re not feeling confident I bet you might say head down, shoulders slumped and rolled in, jaw clenched. The mind and body are connected so use your body to trick your mind into feeling more confident.
Think about how would a confident person sit or stand - adopt that pose regardless of how you feel and that will send signals to your body that you’re feeling more confident than you actually are.
So to round this up know that we can’t wait to feel confident before we do something.
We have to do it scared shitless and be prepared to fall flat on our face as we try.
Muscles only get built through repetition and the confidence muscle in no different.
Finally, if you feel like you need some support to become more confident in your self and your abilities, then book a discovery call to discuss how we could work together so I can help you to build your confidence