Photo courtesy of @anniesprat at Unsplash
Experiencing Imposter Syndrome can have you doubting yourself and your abilities, so naturally that will show up in the way that you communicate when sending and answering messages. Through the messages you send you’re validating those feelings of insecurity, so it’s time to make some changes.
So here are 6 common mistakes that I see in messages and here’s an alternative way to use the right language so you can write with more confidence:
Apologising for the time it has taken for you to respond to a message
Email is not supposed to be used for urgent matters and you’re probably trying to spin multiple plates at once so if it takes you time to reply, that’s ok.
Instead of: I’m sorry for the delay in coming back to you
Try this: Thank you for your patience in waiting for me to come back to you
If you make a mistake
Of course you’re human so of course you’re bound to make mistakes. It’s great if someone lets you know that an error has occurred but apologising for it? Not unless it was a huge error with massive consequences.
Instead of: Apologies for the mistake
Try this: Thanks for highlighting that, I’ll get that rectified
When sharing a decision
There will be lots of times where you need to communicate and share about a decision you’ve made. It’s easy to fall into asking for validation or wishing something is ok, so it’s better to use language that conveys that you believe in the decision you made.
Instead of: I hope that’s ok
Try this: I trust that’s ok
When explaining something
You’ve taken the time to explain something then you caveat that by saying that you hope it makes sense. Of course it will make sense as you’ve wrote it, so don’t doubt it.
Instead of: I hope this makes sense
Try this: If you have any questions about this, please come back to me
Making arrangements
You’re trying to arrange something and you may think it is polite to ask the other person what is best for them but when you do that, you’re saying that their time is more important and you will fit around them. So act like you’re taking control and your time matters
Instead of: If you can let me know when is good for you
Try this: I’m available on ….., do any of these work for you?
When you’re chasing something or someone
Sometimes it may be necessary to chase something up so instead of apologising for it, be strong in your request.
Instead of: Just checking in ….
Try this: Was looking for an update on ….. has a decision been made?
The language you use is so powerful so start to be aware of how the language you’re using in your emails is either validating your Imposter or helping to build inner confidence.
Apologising or using submissive language in any communication is validating that you’re not sure about yourself and your abilities. Of course you always want to show kindness and professionalism when communicating with others but not at the detriment of yourself. Remain kind and professional, whilst saving the apologies for when they truly matter.
Changing how you respond may feel uncomfortable and may take time to implement but over a period of time, it can help you build confidence from the inside out. When you think about the amount of emails and messages you send, imagine how helpful it is to answer them from a space of empowering yourself rather than apologising. That over a period of time, helps to build that inner confidence muscle.